To age at home, your parents may reach a point where they need you to advocate for them. What are the best steps to follow to make sure you’re advocating for them without overstepping boundaries?
Observe Them at Home
Before you decide they need an advocate, pay attention to their activities at home. Spend a day with them and see how they do with meal preparation, chores, and other daily activities. Are they really struggling as much as you think they might be?
If your dad forgot one appointment, it might have been a one-off, so he may not need you taking over. If he’s missed multiple appointments, it’s more concerning. At that point, you should hold an honest conversation about your willingness to help him in the areas he feels he could use assistance.
Get Organized
Make sure your parents have important paperwork in place for legal and financial matters. Have they worked with a lawyer to create a will? Do they have powers of attorney agents named for medical and financial matters? Have they completed advance directives and filed them with their doctor or state?
Ask Questions
Carefully read over this paperwork. Talk to your mom and dad if you’re unsure of anything they’ve listed regarding medical and financial wishes.
For example, your mom doesn’t want artificial nutrition. Make sure you know what she means by that. Is it just feeding tubes, or would she also not want to be given protein shakes if she stopped eating?
Don’t Cave to Doctor Pressure
There are times you’ll have to stand up and fight for your parents. Your mom’s doctor recommends a new antidepressant, but your mom is nervous about relying on a prescription drug. She wants to explore other options; only her doctor insists that medications are the best way.
You may need to step in and push the doctor to let your mom try therapy sessions and diet first. If those don’t work, then you’ll come back to prescription medications as an option.
Make Sure You Take Breaks As Needed
You can advocate for your parents without having to be with them 24/7. Hire companion care at home services to help them on days you have other obligations.
While you take care of work, appointments, or other pressing needs, caregivers can help your parents around the home, escort them to appointments, or take them shopping. Learn more about companion care at home by calling a specialist.
